Are you fucking serious?

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Harry, I'm sorry to tell you that I will be leaving Hogwarts.

Harry Potter: Are you ficking serious?

How did you know about Sirius and me?

Life before the computer

a memory was something that you lost with age

an application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
a web was a spider's home
a virus was the flu
a CD was a bank acount
a hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and if you had a 3,5 inch floppy
... you just hoped nobody found out.

Evropa bez bariér, píše se na bariérách

Tak tu pro vás mám další kurz angličtiny — věta Europe without barriers v češtině znamená doslova a do písmene Evropa bez bariér.

Bohužel se nedá říct, že si toho za hranicemi nevšimli.

Why muslims hate America?

Ptali jste se někdy proč teroristi nesnášejí Ameriku?

English JokeParade 1

Joke 1

A brunette and a blonde are observing a guy passing by them. The brunnette looks at the guy's hair and says: "He'd need some head and shoulders..."
The blonde thinks for a while and then asks: "How do you give shoulders?"

Joke 2

Linux is like wigwam: no windows. no gates, Apache inside.

Joke 3

My dog's got no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful'

Joke 4 (this one is best!)

After numerous rounds of „We don't even know if Osama is still alive,“ on TV, Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of coded message: VWVSO – 370HSSV-0773H.

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NASA.

Eventually they asked Britain's MI-6 for help. Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down"

Joke 5

Victor and Leah were an elderly couple who had been dating for some time. One day, they decided it was finally time to get married. But first, they needed to discuss how their marriage might work. They talked about finances, living arrangements, health and finally, their conjugal relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" Victor asked Leah, with a smile on his face.
"Oh, I like to have it infrequently," replied Leah.
Victor thought about this and then asked, "Was that one word or two?"

Z nepouziteho scenare Michaela Baye pro noveho Batmana

Konec Internetu!

Je to tu, ti co si mysleli, že je nekonečný, neměli pravdu. Konec internetu byl totiž nalezen a my na něj známe odkaz!

Pwned!

CZE: Dobře... a co ji provede deda v pozadi? Klikni!
ENG: Good... but see what the old man did. Click on that image to see the animation.

Myslel sis, že je nelegální stahování zadarmo?

Google nebude hledat Chucka Norrise...

...google totiž ví, že Chuck Norris si najde vás!

---

• Jděte na google.com
• zadejte find chuck norris
• stiskněte tlačítko "Zkusím štěstí" ("I'm feeling lucky")

Google nebude hledat Chucka Norrise, protože ví, že Chuck Norris si najde vás.